RAW this week starts with music and pyro.
Coach is in the ring with security all around it. He has an announcement that will adversely effect Orton’s career. It’s because of this. Video of Orton attacking Cena Sr. a few weeks ago. Cena then threatens and attacks Coach out back. Coach schedules Orton against Cena Sr. Cena is pissed and threatens Coach and others. Cena then has a match – If he won his father wouldn’t have to wrestle. Cena won via DQ, but that didn’t count as it wasn’t pinfall or submission. Cena gets handcuffed to the lowest rope. Cena Sr. won’t back down and faces Orton. Orton beats the hell out of him (carefully). Cena disengages the bottom turnbuckle and goes after Orton’s but the damage to Sr. has been done.
Coach says he didn’t know Orton was going to use handcuffs last week. Orton is suspended indefinitely. Coach says he won’t let Cena take his anger out on Coach, that’s why there’s security. He also won’t let Cena take out his anger on this man – Vince comes out.
Vince gets in the ring looking happier than he has lately. He thanks the crowd for their ovation and gets booed for it. He says Coach is right. People like them should be respected for their positions, power and wisdom. But there’s one person who keeps spitting in the face of respect and he’s sick of it. That’s HHH. He comes out each week and tries to humiliate him. HHH took perverse please when it was announced that Vince’s son is a leprechaun. Tonight Vince will take care of it. HHH will tuck his tail between his legs and leave the ring in defeat. Above the ring is a steel cage. HHH will face Carlito in the cage tonight. Carlito won’t be by himself. It will be a Handicap Steel Cage Match. Tonight Carlito will tag with Vince!
Tonight HHH will be embarrassed and Vince will win the match. Speaking of embarrassment, he owes someone an apology for last week. He calls out Hornswoggle. Hornswoggle comes out to the ring and dances around before wrapping himself around Vince’s leg.
Vince says he owes him an apology. He says he didn’t mean it when he said he was embarrassed by him and never wanted to see him. He passed the test, he’s nothing like his other kids. He’s not just out for the money. He asks if Hornswoggle loves him. He says he does. Vince says he loves him too. Vince gets on his knees and they hug.
Now that Hornswoggle is a McMahon the ladies are after him. Even though he’s shy, there’s a lady who wants to meet him. Melina comes out in a really short blue/green dress. Hornswoggle looks like he’s blushing.
She says they never got a chance to talk because he was on SD! She says she thinks he’s really cute. She asks if they can get to know each other better. She calls him Horney. She asks if he’d like to get to know her better. She’s down on one knee and he jumps on her.
Coach pulls him off. Vince sends them off to have a beer. Hornswoggle holds the ropes for her. Vince tells him to be easy with her and reminds him about the birds and bees. He tells him to use protection.
Coach says that was wonderful. Since he’s in such a giving mood, he has a favor to ask. Regal is supposed to be back next week, but Coach wants to be permanent GM. Coach is cut of by Cena’s music. Security quickly gets in the ring.
Cena goes around the ring, tells Lillian to move and takes the chair. He tosses a couple chairs in the ring. He then gets in the ring and tackles both Vince and Coach. Everyone flees the ring leaving Cena in there alone.
From the ramp Vince threatens to strip Cena of the title, which gets heat from the fans. It’s not up to Vince, it’s up to Coach. There will be a championship surrender ceremony tonight. He will learn the hard way to not put his hands on authority. When Cena’s in the ring begging not to loose his title, it will be up to Coach as to whether Cena loses it or not.
– Commercial
Video of Vince announcing a championship surrendering ceremony. Cena is in the ring yelling back. It’s up to Coach if Cena keeps his title or not.
Cody Rhodes comes down to the ring. Hardcore Holly comes out to face him. Holly takes a mic and says with his name he should be in a boy band, not a wrestling ring. If he wants Holly’s respect, he needs to earn it.
A side headlock to Cody who gets slammed to the mat. An arm bar on Holly. There’s chanting, but I can’t tell if it’s for Cody or Holly. (I’m going to guess Cody as he’s been getting chants every week, but I can’t say for sure.) Cody gets backed into a corner. Arm drag takeover by Cody. A sunset flip that doesn’t work by Cody. Holly takes him down hard. A couple chops in a corner by Holly. More chops in a different corner. A headlock on Cody. Cody elbows out but gets a forearm to the back for it. Cody comes back with kicks and a side Russian leg sweep for two. A cross body by Cody for two. Cody hits a clothesline and a dropkick. Holly gets whipped but flips Cody to the apron. Cody comes off the top rope at Holly, but Holly moves and pushes Cody to the mat. An Alabama slam and Holly covers for three.
– Winner: Hardcore Holly
Holly backs up the ramp shaking his head at Cody.
– Commercial
Video of Austin out signing copies of his new DVD. JR and King talk up the DVD.
Video from Orton recorded earlier. He says he wants to congratulate Cena on being the biggest phony in WWE history. He says he’ll face anyone, but knew he couldn’t take Orton, so he got DQd at the PPP. He says Cena’s smart as he took the focus off himself by having his pathetic father kick him in the head after the match. Mr. Cena, I don’t know what you do for a living. You probably live off your son. Orton’s a WWE superstar and Mr. Cena tried to take that away from him. Orton says he enjoyed beating the hell out of Cena’s father. He enjoyed Cena looking helpless. He’s going to enjoy that look even more at the next PPV. He wants Cena to bring his father to next week’s RAW to he can witness what Orton’s going to do to his son at NM.
Santino’s music and he comes out with Maria. Maria in a red micro-mini and a sparkly black halter.
– Commercial
WWE Rewind – Maria talking to Ron out back. Santino attacks Ron from behind.
Ron comes out to face Santino.
Santino ducks into a corner to hide from Ron. They lock up and Santino is backed into a corner. A punch to Santino’s gut, then to the head. Lots more shots from Ron and Santino flees the ring. “You suck” chants at Santino.
Ron goes out after Santino who ducks back in. Santino stomps Ron as he re-enters the ring. A chinlock on Ron in the center of the ring. A forearm to Ron’s back and he’s down. Santino berates him and hits him in the back a couple more times. Ron gets to his feet but can’t pull Ron to whip him. Ron hits a clothesline and whips Santino. Ron gets Santino on his shoulder, but Santino wiggles out. Santino leaves the ring and drags Maria up the ramp. Santino gets counted out.
– Winner: Ron Simmons
Ron grabs a mic and says… “DAMN!” after a lot of false starts.
– Commercial
Video fo the Diva Search Finalists. They’re doing the limbo – Taryn won. Next week is the Diva Obstacle Course. Voting now and at the end of the show one will be eliminated.
Jillian comes up to Melina and asks where Hornswoggle is. Melina says they don’t have to be together every minute. Jillian starts berating her about dating Hornswoggle. Melina says she made a deal with Coach – if she goes on a date with Hornswoggle she will get a shot at the title. She’s grossed out by Hornswoggle and needs a shower.
The Highlanders go up to Cade and Murdoch and say they want a shot at the Tag Titles. Cade says they’d love to, but it’s up to Coach. Tonight they have London and Kendrick. Rory says any stipulation Cade and Murdoch might want. Table Match, Ladder Match – A Kilts On A Pole Match. Cade wants to know what they’d be wearing if their kilts were on a pole. The Highlanders moon them.
The cage is coming down over the ring. HHH’s music and he comes out to huge pop. Carlito comes out next. He’s in new red shorts that say “EAT SPIT” on the side. Vince comes out to join Carlito. HHH is standing on a top turnbuckle holding onto the cage. The two heels enter together.
They corner HHH/ Carlito rushes him and Vince rushes to climb out. HHH pulls Vince down. They both attack Vince. Vince is knocked down and he works on Carlito. Vince tries to escape through the door, but HHH grabs him by the belt and pulls him in. A clothesline to Carlito.
Vince is on the top rope and HHH pulls him down to land in a bad way. He falls to the apron. HHH gets tossed into the cage face first by Carlito.
– Commercial (Grrrrrr)
Vince holds himself up by the ropes on the apron. Carlito hammers away on HHH. HHH hits a high knee and then a face buster. HHH slams Vince back into the cage a couple times. HHH sends Carlito into Vince. A DX crotch chop and HHH is going to pedigree Vince but Carlito sneaks up with a back cracker.
Vince is going for the door. HHH tosses Carlito into the cage and grabs Vince’s ankle. Vince gets pulled back into the ring. Vince is climbing a corner. He gets to the top of the cage and Carlito gets slammed. HHH climbs and both he and Vince are up top. They exchange blows up top. Carlito pulls HHH to the top turnbuckle, but HHH holds onto Vince’s leg. Vince gets free and out of the cage. His feet touch the floor while HHH looks down from the top.
– Winners: Vince & Carlito
HHH slowly climbs down back into the ring looking pissed. Vince celebrates on the stage, mocks HHH. Trip sees Carlito is still in the cage. Carlito starts climbing and gets a low blow. Carlito is tossed face first into the cage. HHH yells at Vince about wanting to play. Again Carlito is tossed face fist into the cage. Carlito is busted open. HHH grates Carlito’s face on the cage. Another face first slam into the cage and then a spine buster on Mr. Cool. HHH leaves the ring and slowly grabs a chair that’s conveniently outside the cage door. He re-enters the cage. HHH pedigrees Carlito onto the chair. HHH looks over his shoulder at Carlito before leaving the ring.
Video of HHH’s attack on Carlito after Vince escaped the ring.
HHH celebrates on the stage to huge pop.
– Commercial
Cade and Murdoch are already wrestling London and Kendrick. Highlanders are ringside.
Murdoch tags in and climbs. He flies into London who’s being held by Cade. Abdominal stretch on London. Hurricanrana by London. Kendrick tags in and turns it up on Murdoch. Cade and London are fighting outside. Murdoch is pinned but Cade breaks it up. London and Cade go back outside. A kick to Murdoch’s face and then a takedown. Kendrick covers Murdoch. It would have been a three count if the Highlanders had not come in and attacked them.
– Winners: Cade & Murdoch via DQ
Highlanders keep beating on Kendrick while Cade and Murdoch escape.
Highlanders leave the ring screaming that it’s their turn to go after the Tag Titles.
Melina is in the shower and Hornswoggle is right outside. He hides under her towel. She blindly reaches for it and pulls it off his head. She clears her eyes and sees him there. She starts screaming and runs. She wraps the towel around her as she goes. He chases her through the halls. He pulls her towel away and she keeps running. He laughs the whole time.
– Commercial
Vince is out back in his office. Coach is glad he’s leaving. Vine says he’s not leaving, he’s going to take a shower.
Coach says HHH is looking for him.
Vince says he doesn’t care if HHH wants another match because Vince knows he can beat him. Coach leaves.
Video about Austin’s movie. Santino rips it apart saying how bad it is.
Video of HHH getting beaten by Vince and Carlito.
Out back Vince opens his door to find HHH. Trip says he thinks Vince is so proud of himself. Vince thinks he can beat him any time. HHH wants to face him next week on RAW. He tells Vince to put his billion dollars where his mouth is, unless he’s scared.
Vince says he’s on, and he’s screwed.
– Commercial
Slam of The Week – Jeff Hardy manages to beat Shelton to retain his IC Title.
A Mixed Tag Match. Jeff Hardy comes down to big pop. Candy comes out in hot pink boy shorts, a matching halter top and coat. Shelton comes out next. Last but not least is Beth in a sparkly black jump suit.
Jeff and Shelton start off. Jeff is slammed into a corner. “Hardy” chants. Jeff ducks a clothesline and kicks Shelton. A high clothesline by Jeff. Shelton gets mule kicked from the ring. Beth tries to get involved but Candy knocks her from the apron. Both Jeff and Candy climb. Candy flies onto Beth, Jeff flies onto Shelton. (I think those two could be great partners, they have good chemistry together and it was cool to see Candy try something more daring.)
– Commercial
Beth has a double arm hold on Candy in the center of the ring. Candy gets to her feet and hits a back elbow. Beth tags out so Jeff enters with a fast clothesline. A whisper in the wind by Jeff. “Hardy” chants. Jeff gets slammed down by a power bomb and covered for two. A chinlock on Jeff in the center fo the ring. Jeff gets to his feet but gets slammed back ward onto Shelton’s knee for two. Jeff ducks a clothesline, but they both go for cross bodies. Andy tags in. She and Beth fight. A dropkick doesn’t drop Beth. Candy hits a hurricanrana and then comes off the top to cover for two. Candy gets slammed into a corner but hits a jaw buster. Candy, with Jeff’s help hits poetry in motion. Jeff and Shelton go outside. Beth gets Candy up in the air and slam her down hard for three.
– Winners: Beth & Shelton
Video of a kick to Jeff’s face out by the announce table. Jeff crawls to Candy who’s holding her head in the ring.
Out back Coach is making a statement to “media”. He says in just a few moments we might see the end of Cena’s reign. Also, his indefinite suspension of Orton means 24 hours. Coach says he would have like to done to Mr. Cena what Orton did.
– Commercial
Coach is in the ring. Video of Vince announcing the championship surrendering ceremony.
Coach says Cena brought this on himself. He was told not to touch Coach or Vince. If he did he’d loose his title. After one of the longest title reigns in over 20 years, Cena screwed himself. Coach demands Cena come out to the ring. No response. Finally, after three tile Coach yelling for him, the music starts and he comes out.
Coach looks smug as Cena enters the ring, full security behind him. Coach says it would be a shame for it to all end this way. His father took a beating to save Cena’s title, but due to his arrogance it might be all for naught.
Coach wants the respect he deserves. He wants Cena to beg Coach so he can keep his title. If Coach feels he’s full of all the apologies in the world, Coach might let him keep the title. He asks Cena what it’s going to be. “Cena” chants, even from men.
Cena takes off his shirt and is poised to strike over the table set up between them. Coach says he’s about to become an ex-champion. They can do it the easy way, or the hard way. He can handle over the title and leave the building with a bit of dignity. Or the security guards can take it and drag his ass out. What’s it going to be. Cena hold the belt, ready to strike. Coach is about to have security attack Cena when the bell rings. Coach starts to speak and it rings again.
Lillian says she just got word from Mr. McMahon that the title will not be stripped from Cena. The main event is about to start and it will be Cena facing Coach in a tables match.
Coach is screaming that Vince didn’t call him.
Cena hold Coach by the tie and says he knows nothing about respect. Cena hits him with the belt. Cena picks him up to put him through the table but then puts him down. He beats on Coach a but and then puts on the STFU. Coach taps to no avail.
Cena lets him go and points at the table. The fans cheer wildly. Cena gets Coach up on his shoulders again, walks around the table and then slams him through the table.
– Winner: Cena
Hornswoggle shows up on the stage and has a huge grin on his face. Cena looks up at him and smiles back. Cena grabs a mic and thanks Mr. McMahon (Hornswoggle)!
Biggest pop
HHH
Cena
Jeff Hardy
Biggest heat
Orton on video
Vince
Coach